


Dreamscapes and Living Nightmares

by frostfalcon



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: M/M, Piercings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-15
Updated: 2012-07-15
Packaged: 2017-11-10 01:02:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostfalcon/pseuds/frostfalcon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something is going on with Trowa, Heero is involved but how? and just what is real?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreamscapes and Living Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I ever posted oh so many years ago on the GWML. I'm going to say that I don't own these characters, this is a disturbing story with slash/yoai leanings and includes non con/dub con parts and has at least one four letter word. It's intended for a mature reader. I wrote this in 1998 and all I have to say is after re-reading this I must have been dealing with some issues as this isn't a bright happy story at all.

Dreamscapes and living Nightmares…

By frost

9/7/1998

In his dream he felt a hand grasp his wrist and drag him from bed brutally. He opened his eyes but it was still dark. He tried to stand but whoever was dragging him from the bed kicked his feet out from under him and dragged him across the floor. He tried to resist the pulling but it was strong and he wasn't quite awake yet. He knew that this was giving him splinters and it hurt. He couldn't get any traction to pull back with and who ever was dragging him was not being very careful… had Oz figured out where he was and taking him in? He fought against the inevitable and was rewarded with a punch to the stomach for his struggles.

He felt the tiles of the bathroom now, who ever was doing this had dragged him to the bathroom. Then he was lifted still twisting and trying to get away and dropped into the bathtub. It was filled with icy water and he yelped, as he was soaked in it. The light snapped on and he saw Heero standing there, looking positively smug. He stood up and was about to get out of the tub when Heero stepped forward and pushed him back down into the frigid water.

"What are you doing?" Trowa asked as he struggled against Heero to get out of the icy water.

"What ever I want…" Heero said as he twisted Trowa's arm behind his back and forced his face under the water. He held it there for a few seconds and then let Trowa back up. Trowa coughed and took a deep breath.

"Why?" was all Trowa could gasp out before Heero had him back under the water. He was held there longer this time. When he could breath again, he renewed his struggle, it was obvious that Heero was not going to talk to him and that he would have to get out of this and figure out why by himself. He braced his feet on the wall of the tub and pushed himself out of the water, taking Heero with him. The both ended up on the floor.

Trowa stood and went to the door and ran out, Heero was up off the floor in a heartbeat and chasing after him. Trowa ran up to the roof of the building taking the stairs several at a time. He thought he could feel Heero's breath hot against his neck, he ran faster. His first thought was to get away, he could find out what was going on later when he wasn't feeling so trapped. He had to know why Heero would do something like this, it was very unlike him. He got to the roof with Heero right behind him, the next building was about fifteen feet and he was sure that he could jump it, he didn't think Heero would follow him.

Trowa launched himself into the air and missed. His hand reached for the ledge on the building and he couldn't hold it. He was falling, this was going to hurt, how bad was this going to be? What would Heero do? All these things flashed through mind as he fell.

Trowa woke, he felt as if he was still falling and he was covered in perspiration. This was the second night in a row he had a dream about Heero going after him and they always ended with him falling a long way. Trowa tied to relax and breathe, it was hard, his heart was pounding. He finally got calm enough to stand and pace the room some. He felt the need to get out of here just in case Heero came in, but it was only the after effects of the dream. Heero was no where near here and they were friends, sort of… weren't they? He had nothing to fear from Heero. It was only a dream.

He tried to go back to sleep but it eluded him. He got up and paced and finally left the small room he had been calling home. He walked out into the night and wandered the streets for hours. The sun came up and he watched the blazing glorious beginning of a new day. He was dead tired but still rest wouldn't come. His body was drained and so was his mind but he just couldn't face sleeping, his dreams haunted him. He was frightened… it wasn't like him at all. Why now?

He returned to his dingy little room and lay down. If he couldn't sleep he might as well let his body rest. He just lay there thinking of nothing in particular and he started to drift off to sleep.

He was barely asleep, in that hazy sort of state when he heard a knock at the door. He was alert in seconds and on his way to the door when it burst in. He saw a figure outlined in the sunlight. It was a he, that much he was sure of… the man was taller than he was and held a gun it was pointed at him. He didn't know exactly what was up only that it was not an auspicious beginning for the day. He looked at the man who was swiftly crossing the room towards him. Trowa saw the man had some sort of uniform on.

"Shit!" He said as recognition dawned on him… it was OZ… crap! he was blocking the only exit. He was going to have to fight his way out or be taken. This was a big time screw up, he should have been more alert. If only he had been able to sleep he wouldn't be this slow.

The man just smiled and took aim. Trowa dropped to the floor and rolled behind the bed, it wasn't the best cover but it was better then being in the open. He had very few choices left open to him. He had to get past this guy and into the open. He had to make a run for it. He felt around under the mattress… there should be a pistol here somewhere, he thought as his hands frantically closed in on it.

The officer was being cautions, word was that this kid was dangerous and he didn't want to have a grand military funeral right now. He approached the bed very slowly and tried to peer around it. He heard the slight click of a pistol being readied just before he hit the floor and was really shocked when instead of the kid coming up from behind the bed he was caught by shots from under the bed. He hadn't considered the fact that the kid could get under the bed and take aim. His last thought was of how dumb he was not to expect this sort of thing.

Trowa got up and almost fell on the bed. How close had he come to dying or worse? He was drained but knew he had to leave this place fast. The gunshots were sure to bring people that were going to ask questions he didn't want to answer. He looked at the dead man on the floor, he hoped there would be no grieving family. As much as he could try there was no way he couldn't care. He felt bad every time he caused anything injury. He played it down to the others but it opened gaping hole in his heart to hurt anything living. He tried to block out those feelings and be the kind of person Heero was, but as much as he tried he found himself wanting, he lacked something and he couldn't put his finger on it. He cared too much and tried desperately not too.

He got up and shook himself out of his daze. He gathered all his things, not that there were many and got the hell out of there. As he left the local authorities arrived to investigate the shots. He got as far away as he could, he didn't want to get involved in the questions they would ask.

He went as far out of the city as he could get on foot, then headed for where he had stashed Heavyarms, his mobile suit. That thought comforted him and bothered him at the same time. He felt safe when he was in it but he also felt bad for the destruction he caused while he piloted it. There was no middle ground, no coming to terms with what he did. He just focused on staying alive and one step ahead of those that would harm him. It was hard but he had to survive, didn't he? He got to the Gundam's hiding place and curled up into the cockpit to see if maybe he could get some sleep there. He had to be sharp and this morning he was as sharp as a spoon. He had been lucky… and luck wasn't his thing it was Duo's.

*****

He was in unfamiliar territory, there was no way he could find his way out of this unending maze. Corridors lead off in all possible directions and none of them were familiar, he was lost. He was being followed he was sure of it. He didn't know who or even how many, just that he wasn't alone. He ran on through the unending corridors. Then in blind panic he turned to face his pursuer… he was at a dead end and it was the only thing left to do… He recognized Heero the minute he came into view, why Heero? He couldn't fight a friend. He fell to his knees and curled into a ball.

He felt Heero approach him and land a kick to his ribs that rolled him onto his back. He was staring up at Heero and Heero was grinning sadistically down at him. Trowa wanted to cry but no tears would come, only a low moan as Heero bent down and reached out to him. Heero pinched his nipples and… then he was falling, again… He woke this time sure he had screamed. No one was around to hear and now he was awake and shaking. He couldn't help his dreams they were going to drive him over the edge. He wanted to get away from them. He had no idea why they centered on Heero and why couldn't he fight Heero in his dreams. He should be able too… What was wrong with him? He thought as he tried to calm down and catch some more sleep, He needed it, he was so tired.

Heero was with Duo taking care of a few minor details from their last mission when they heard about a new mission. Not your standard fare, it was very different from anything they had yet to do. They would need help, and Trowa would be the best person to help them with this, Wu Fei was busy and Quatre shouldn't be exposed to something like this. Trowa was experienced enough and was more agile then any of them. They would need him on this one. All they had to do was figure out where he was, he shouldn't be that hard to locate. They were able to get in touch fairly easily now that they knew each other.

It took them about six hours to hear back from Trowa, he was on his way and they could go over the mission in detail when they were together in person. It was safer than trusting mission details to the net anyway. Heero wasn't too sure he liked Trowa's tone of voice when they talked but he had always come through in the past.

Trowa headed to the meeting with Heero and Duo with trepidation. He was not really sure he was up to it. Lack of sleep had allowed doubt to enter his mind. He was just so completely worn out that he was scared to meet anyone right now. He tried everything he knew to keep himself awake but he was dozing off every time he blinked. He had to do something, these nightmares were going to him killed and maybe anyone that was with him. He was so exhausted, but he was needed. How he hated this… why did he do it? He could just walk away and go to the circus except for… except for what? What was really holding him to this? He didn't know but he felt obligated to do this. He continued towards his rendezvous with Heero and Duo.

Trowa had arrived and one look at him confirmed Heero's suspicions, there was something going on. He didn't look like him normal self. There was something not right. He looked haggard, like he was the living dead. He was pale and his eyes had a feverish gleam. Was Trowa ill and not saying anything? Heero was concerned, this mission had to go smoothly and it looked like they were going to have to plan for Trowa to be at less then peak performance. Heero didn't like this, he would have to change his plans.

He was going to have Duo play prisoner and he and Trowa were going to get onto the base while Duo distracted the guards with an escape attempt… who would look for someone breaking into a base while there was someone breaking out? But Trowa looked like he could be a prisoner that had been slightly abused and they were going to need their wits about them to get what they needed from the base and get out. Could Trowa get himself picked up and then break out and get away? Heero wasn't sure, but he didn't want to risk their mission so Duo's and Trowa's parts in the mission had to be switched, Heero needed someone that he could count on to go in with him, he was hoping Trowa would be that person. To bad, Duo would do just as well, Duo was his first choice for the prisoner part because he had the best chance at escaping, it was that luck thing, Duo always managed to get out of tough spots. If Trowa didn't get away it didn't matter as long as the mission was successful, but Heero would feel bad, the mission was first.

Heero outlined his plan, Duo looked eager and Trowa looked like he hadn't even noticed that they were conversing… What is wrong with him? Heero thought and he slammed his open palm down had enough to make a very loud bang. Trowa leapt about a foot and then backed away like he had been burnt or something. His eyes clouded over and then he was back staring at Heero.

"What was that for?" Trowa asked in a subdued voice.

"Just making sure you were still breathing… What the hell is with you?" Heero demanded. Trowa slid back away from Heero and shrugged.

Heero was shocked, it looked like Trowa was frightened of him. Trowa and Wu Fei were the only ones he thought were as strong as he was. Why was Trowa acting like he was scared of him? This was unlike the Trowa that had helped him find the Noventa's and who was used to handling lions. The entire spark seemed drained from him… What was wrong? Heero was worried but he didn't have time. They had too much to do.

He hoped that this would still work, Trowa just really didn't look up to it, well maybe after a good night's sleep he'll be fine, Heero thought as he turned in. It was going to be a very hectic day and he wanted to make sure that everything went according to the plan and that he was rested enough to handle it. He hoped the others would take the hint. He noticed Duo had, he was retiring too. Trowa just sat there and when he caught his gaze Trowa turned away and headed off to get some rest. Good, Heero thought, he really needs it and I want this to be easy. Heero headed for bed.

His scream wouldn't stop, it seemed to go on for hours as he fell. Heero had been hurting him again. Would he ever stop? He was woken by Heero in the middle of the night, this time Heero had hit him in the chest knocking the wind out of him. Then he was tossed roughly to the floor and Heero kicked his ribs. He had managed to fight back enough to get up and standing, it hurt bad. He had to get away, he looked for any exit and found none. Then Heero advanced on him and cornered him, back to the wall frozen by fright Trowa just stood there. Heero reached out and tore Trowa's shirt off. Trowa cowered back further and then he reached out and savagely twisted Trowa's exposed nipples. Trowa yelped and sunk to his knees.

"Why?" Trowa whispered as Heero reached down to tip his head forward. Trowa felt tears stream down his face. This was so unlike him he was usually able to hold off all emotional response, why did he react this way to Heero? and why was Heero doing this? Heero looked down and kissed him. Then bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. Heero smiled and pushed Trowa backwards. Trowa was falling, but where too? He was sure he was backed up to the wall… He fell forever and the unending scream echoed around him.

Heero got up and tried to locate the source of the short yelp he heard, it was barely audible but it woke him. He got out of bed and peaked out. He saw Trowa sitting upright and trembling, Heero could see the sweat drip from him. Heero went to the shaking young man and reached out to touch him. Trowa exploded out of his sitting position and fled into a corner. Heero looked at him and his eyes were misted over like he wasn't quite awake. Duo heard the noise and was up and looked at the scene unfolding in front of him.

"Trowa?" Duo said as he approached and reached out to gently shake the quivering figure in front of him. Trowa snapped out of his daze. He looked around and felt like he wanted to die. No one else had ever caught him this… weak. He lost it, he was going nuts. He really should get out of here before he ended up wreaking the whole thing.

Trowa opened his mouth but before he could speak Heero looked at him and he froze. He couldn't figure out why, Heero had never really done anything to him. It was a dream. Dreams were not real, he had to free himself of this feeling Heero was an ally, not an enemy.

"So what's with you anyway?" Duo asked as Trowa tried to regain his composure.

"I've been having problems sleeping." Trowa said as he visibly tried to calm himself. His heart was pounding and he was sure they could hear it, it sounded like a huge drum. He sat down and held his arms across his chest. He stared down at his feet and hoped they would go away. He rocked himself slightly trying to comfort himself.

"So what was so bad that you can't sleep?" Heero asked.

"Just dreams… nightmares…" Trowa answered. "you…." He whispered almost undetectably. Heero thought he heard it and glanced at Duo. Duo looked up he heard it too.

"Let's just get back to sleep, we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow… well later today… I have to get captured and break out while you two try to break in. I just hope I can cause a big enough distraction for you two." Trowa said trying to sound like his old empty self as he lay back down. He though about adding a smile but that would be too much. He just wanted to get on with this and get it over. He wanted everything over, the mission, the war, the whole thing, over. He almost wished his life was over, he was tired, just tired of it all. He pretended to sleep and the other two left him alone. It was just what he wanted… to be left alone, he wasn't sure if he could trust Heero… they were only dreams but they seemed so real. He always felt like he was falling at the end. Maybe he'd just fall off the face of the planet.

Morning came too soon and Trowa looked like he was about to fall on his face. Heero was hoping that he didn't pass out while trying to get captured. Well it should work out getting captured was easy… as long as he was able to give them enough time to get in it didn't matter. Heero just hoped that Trowa would be able to get out again after they finished. He was supposed to make sure they knew he was trying to escape.

Heero and Duo would break in during to confusion of Trowa's capture, then copy the files from the computer system, plant a virus in it and then get out as Trowa created a big enough distraction with his own escape. It should work, if Trowa could make it look good and get himself out. If not then… well then it was up to Heero to affect a rescue or tie up loose ends… that would hopefully be a last resort, and it depended on what shape Trowa was in when the time came, hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

They set out, Trowa left first and Heero and Duo would give him about a half hour to get ready to make a convincing attempt at breaking in, he had to get caught but still make it look good. He figured the best way to get caught would be to break in and make sure he botched it. It was hard but he finally managed to get caught and make it look like he wasn't trying to.

They took him into custody with a lot of caution, he thought it was amusing that they took so much caution, he was too tired to really be much of a threat. It was good that they did though, as the more people they had watching him the less that would be on guard when Duo and Heero broke in to complete the actual assignment. He just hoped that they were able to pull it off on time, their timing was critical. He was sure that they should be coming soon. He had to keep the members of the Oz security detachment busy for at least another two hours, then he had to make good his own escape.

He hoped he was ready to escape when the time came. He really wasn't up to this that's why he was playing decoy. The mission had to be carried out and they couldn't risk failure, he was the weak link so he was expendable and had the least sensitive part of the operation. He wasn't even told what it was that they were after. He could in no way compromise the mission. He didn't like the fact that he was now considered expendable by Heero, but he understood why. All these thoughts raced through his mind as they roughly forced him to their detention area and interrogation chamber. He had no information so he wasn't worried about telling them anything, he was just worried about what they were going to do to him in pursuit of information he didn't have. He thought about it and came to the conclusion that it didn't really matter what they did to him. He might as well put on a good show, his final performance before the last curtain.

Duo and Heero waited until they saw the fuss that was being made over Trowa. Everything was working just fine. Now while Trowa kept up the diversion they infiltrated the base. Heero and Duo quickly split up to accomplish their objectives. Heero hacked into the base's computers and Duo took to making a number of small but annoying changes to the base's infrastructure. They weren't going to blow this one up. They needed it, Heero was making sure that they could access the computer anytime they wanted without being detected. They would now have a link straight into Oz's mainframe, an ever-present spy route. It was clever and all they needed was some time, time which Trowa was buying them. Both Heero and Duo hoped that the time they had wasn't paid for with Trowa's life.

Trowa was at that moment wishing he had been doing just about anything else at that moment. They had beefed up the detention facilities in the base since their last reconnaissance trip. Trowa wasn’t entirely sure if he would actually be able to get out in his condition and pretty soon that condition would be worse.

He was in an almost featureless room, no windows and a metal door, a table and some chairs. He was literally slammed into on of the chairs. They treated him as if he were some dangerous person. They weren't taking any chances. They didn't even ask why he was there, they just had one of the larger men backhand him across the face. A small trickle of blood leaked out the corner of his mouth. He felt it running down his face, dribbling down his neck, to be absorbed by his shirt. He just sat there and waited for them to either ask him something or hit him again. He knew that they would be doing either, no surprise there. He just hoped he could amuse them long enough for Duo and Heero to do what they were there for.

They asked him a barrage of questions. He stayed silent, he knew this would piss them off but he wouldn't lie and he either didn't know the answers to the questions or wouldn't say. They were relentless and pounded on him for what felt like an eternity. When he slipped into a hazy and detached state they had enough it was getting boring, no fun unless they got a response and they weren't getting any… it was like he wasn't there really.

He wasn't really there, he had slipped into unconsciousness, between all the pounding and sleep loss his body had undergone he passed out. He might be young but he wasn't invulnerable. The dragged him to a cell and tossed him in not caring how he landed.

He was waking up, and wasn't where he expected to be. He was in a huge bed, the headboard and foot board were of wrought iron and in all their strength looked so delicate. The sheets were white as were the pillows and the comforter. The bed had a canopy and that too was white. The entire room was in shadow and all he could see was the bed that he lay on. Then he noticed he was naked and the marks of the violence he had suffered at the hands of the Oz interrogators were gone from his skin. It made no sense he should be in a cell and battered. Why was he naked and in the most luxurious bed had had ever imagined? He looked at the bed and then worked his way over to the edge and got out from under the covers and slid to the floor.

His feet hit the icy floor and he really wanted to crawl back into the bed and snuggle in and sleep. He wanted to feel safe, warm and surrounded by comfort. He wanted to give in and let himself be taken care of. He resisted the urge to go back to sleep and crept around to try and see the room but the only light was on the bed. The room was in total darkness. He was confused, what was going on? How long had he been here? He went as far into the darkness as he could but he found nothing but a wall. He felt his way around the wall until he found the corner, then he traced the next wall.

He had traced his way around all four walls and they were solid, no doors or anything. He was trapped here with only a bed. He returned to it and sat down. He decided that there was nothing else to do but return to sleep and at least try and catch up on the rest he had missed so he was ready when he next had an option to react. Someone had to have put him here and they must eventually return. He was going to be rested and ready.

He woke again in the bed, this time he heard a footfall. He tried to listen to place the sound. He didn't want to betray the fact he was awake to who ever was there. He felt the bed shift as someone sat on it. Then whoever it was reached out and touched his naked shoulder. He wanted to turn and see who it was when the hand grasped him and shook him. He pretended to wake up and roll over. He opened his eyes and found Heero in the bed with him. The look on Heero's face caused the terror from his nightmares to return. He bolted from the bed as Heero smirked wickedly.

"You can't get away, I've marked you as mine." Heero said as approached Trowa.

Trowa was backed up to the wall as far as he could go. He tried to fade through the wall and had closed his eyes by the time Heero stood in front on him. He felt Heero's hands touch him on the shoulders and then they trailed down to his nipples and there they pinched and twisted viciously. Trowa froze in panic. He couldn't fight back but then he realized this was a nightmare. He hoped that recognizing it as a nightmare would be enough to bring him out of it but it continued. He felt Heero's hand slide down further and then to his privates. Heero was gentle as he caressed Trowa until he was hard, Trowa felt betrayed by his own body. Why couldn't he wake up and escape this dream? Heero would never do anything like this to him. What did these dreams mean? Trowa tried backing away but the wall held firm.

Heero continued to arouse Trowa and Trowa tried to resist, then the scene changed and he was in the bathroom. He was naked and Heero was holding him from behind. Trowa could see both their reflections in mirror and he could feel Heero's naked body pressed into his back, Heero's erection between his legs, ready to penetrate him. Heero was playing with his left nipple with one hand and the other was on his stomach pressing him back into the waiting erection. Trowa couldn't move. The whole thing confused him. He knew it was a dream and that he should be able to wake. He just couldn't. What did this mean? Did he have secret urges to sleep with Heero? There had to be an answer.

He decided to let the nightmare play out, since he couldn't wake himself from it anyway, he gave in. He looked at the reflection of Heero in the mirror and saw a glint in his eyes. The Heero of his dreams must have sensed a change and brought things to the next level. He moved his hand lower caressed Trowa's privates.

"I see you've decide to let me have my way. You never did have a choice. I am after all your creation and your dream." Heero smiled, it was a cold predatory smile.

"I said I had marked you as mine, well I didn't lie. Now I'm going to make that mark more permanent. Relax and try to enjoy it." Heero said as he maneuvered Trowa to a sitting position on the edge of the vanity.

"Close your eyes and don't move. You are mine. I own you don't forget it, not that you will be able to after I'm done with you." Heero said as Trowa complied and closed his eyes. He felt Heero touch his stomach and then a flash of pain engulfed his midsection. His eyes flew open and he looked down to see what Heero had done. There suspended from the top edge of his navel was a small silver ring, Heero had marked his property. It hurt but it wasn't that bad, Trowa still was shocked by the images that his mind was parading for him.

"Now be a good boy and go back to the bed and I'll come give you what you know you want." Heero said as he released Trowa and gave him a swat on the ass.

Trowa looked around and was alone in the dark room with the bed again. It was no longer an island of warmth and safety, now it was where Heero told him he'd get what he wanted. He wasn't sure that it was really what he wanted. Was going with this dream really going to end it? He climbed up on to the bed and sat looking at the new navel ring. It looked like it had been there forever, it was healed already, things in dreams hardly ever make sense.

He heard Heero walking towards the bed. He was not sure if he really did want to give in and let the dream run its course. He was sure he didn't want to finish it. He had been avoiding the end of it, fighting it for awhile, would it solve anything to let it end or should he end it by running? Trowa decided that he would run, but it was too late Heero was on the bed with him and pushing him down face first into the mattress. Why couldn't he run? It was his dream he should be able to control it. Nothing responded he felt his dream-self compiling to Heero's every order. He didn't want this he couldn't fight it. What the hell was his subconscious telling him? Did he really want to be owned by Heero or was this just a metaphor for something? Was it something else entirely?

He felt Heero hands on his hips raising his ass into the air and gently caressing it. The fingers that lightly trailed from the small of his back to the crack of his ass made him shudder. He was getting aroused, maybe this was what he wanted. Then he felt Heero part his checks and look at the most intimate part of him. He felt Heero's fingers slick with something circle the small opening, not yet penetrating him. His body seemed to respond but all the sudden he felt the overwhelming desire to run and get away before Heero could go further. He let out a whimper and tried to regain his will to move.

"Hush baby this is what I've been wanting and it's what you have been wanting." He heard Heero say as He moved a finger into position to open him up. Trowa flinched and Heero's fingernail scratched him. He felt the scratch mostly on the outside but it he caught him inside some. He rolled off the bed and huddled next to the wall.

"Not you, you're not the one I want." Was all that he could say.

Heero looked at him and then at his finger. Heero and Trowa both saw it, Trowa's blood, Heero had drawn some blood and they were just staring at it. Heero broke away from the sight first.

"You've been a bad boy I'll have to punish you." He said as he got off the bed and headed for Trowa.

Trowa got to his feet and ran the walls disappeared and he was able to run full out for a while before he felt Heero's breath down his neck. If this followed the pattern there should be something to fall off of soon. With luck this time the old saying that if you fall in your dreams and hit bottom you die will be true. He couldn't live with dreams like this flowing in never ending streams, he needed peace and death was the only sure way. He saw the edge of a chasm and it wasn't too far. He thought he could make it over but then thought better of it and decided that instead of trying to escape by crossing the chasm he'd just let himself go over the edge and hope that the drop was enough to kill him. He felt the ground dissolve and then he was in free fall. There was no panic this time and he actually was looking forward to the end when it did finally come.

He felt a slap across his face and his sleep fuddled mind was dragged back to the waking world. He opened his eyes to stare into the cobalt blue of Heero's eyes. Was this part of the dream? He blinked and sat up, he was in a cell and Heero was standing there looking at him.

"We got worried when you didn't come back. If you want to escape move it now! If you want to be a loose end then I'll wrap you up right now." Heero said in a growl as he gestured with the gun he was holding. "Move it!" Heero added and Trowa got up from the cot and stood.

He was relieved to see he was dressed. Heero led the way out of the detention area and trough a maze of corridors. Trowa followed as best as he could but snippets from his dreams kept impinging on the waking world. He was sure that he was naked and he'd look down and though in disarray his familiar turtleneck was really there. He was sure he could feel the ring in his navel but that too was only a dream. He followed Heero trying to be quiet and keep up. It was beyond what was expected of Heero to have come back for him. The mission must have been a success so it was something else that brought him back to liberate Trowa. Trowa wasn't going to complain as long as he could be free and have the time to sort out his dreams and get his life back under control.

They jogged through corridors that seemed unending until they emerged on the roof of a building. Heero looked back at Trowa. He could see that the other boy was actually in pretty bad shape. They had done a number on him before they tossed him into the cell. He was looking pretty dazed and moving slower than usual.

Trowa kept trying to keep the nightmare at bay but it tried to claim him even when he was awake now. He noticed Heero looking at him. He nodded hoping to show Heero he was OK. Heero just gave him a flat stare and a cold half smile. Trowa tried to not imagine where he had seen that look before but the dream wasn't to be denied and then Trowa remember that look for his dream. Heero had smiled like that while tormenting him.

Heero checked to see how far it was to the next building. It was about ten feet, an easy jump and then they could climb down the chain link fence the was next to the building. It was lucky the two building was so close and the fence was pretty close too. They'd be safe soon.

"Trowa we’re going to jump to that next building and then down the fence. Can you see it? I'll go first, cover me." Heero said as he ran and leapt across. Trowa wondered what he was supposed to cover Heero with, as he wasn't armed. Heero had made it across with out incident so the point was moot anyway. It was Trowa's turn. Ten feet was easy he could do it in his sleep normally but that nightmare reasserted itself as he took off. He missed and as his hands reached to catch the ledge he the edge under his hand and held on.

Heero looked down and extended his had and Trowa felt it clasp his wrist and try to lift him. He couldn't tell if he was dreaming or it was real he looked down and decided that it was better to let go and take his chances that it was a dream, most of it was anyway. He let go and slipped a few inches, Heero held on and grabbed Trowa's wrist with his other hand.

"What the hell are you doing? No isn't the time to let go. If you don't try to get yourself up I'll let go." Heero growled as he tried to drag Trowa up.

It's not a dream Trowa realized and then scrambled to find a foot hold to help Heero get him up. He looked up at the hands that held him for a painful if not lethal fall. He noticed a torn fingernail and a spot of blood on Heero's finger. What was real? He reached the top of the building and backed away from Heero. He hugged himself and watched Heero warily. Heero just looked at him and then walked over to the opposite edge of the building and survey the fence. It would be easy, if Trowa kept his wits about him. Heero nodded and jumped to the fence and climbed up and over, leaving Trowa alone on the roof. If he couldn't save himself then it was his problem Heero had already done more then was expected.

Trowa looked and decided that he was going to follow Heero if it was a dream then Heero wouldn't have left him. He made it to the fence and then up and over. He meet up with Heero and they went back to the hiding place together. Trowa feel asleep while Heero drove back. He slept fitfully, his nightmare teasing him out of a true restorative sleep.

Duo was relieved to hear Heero pull up to their hiding spot and was at the door waiting to welcome him and Trowa home when he noticed that Heero was carrying Trowa. Duo's mind raced with the possibilities of how Trowa could have gotten hurt and he opened the door for Heero who plopped Trowa down on the couch and went to clean himself up. Duo looked over Trowa and besides being beaten up there were no major injuries. Heero came back cleaned up and tossed a warm washcloth to Duo.

"Get him cleaned up and let him sleep. It seems to be what he needs." Heero said as he headed for the fridge and got out a bottle of water and downed it. Then he sat down with his laptop and Duo heard keys tapping.

He looked down at Trowa and wiped down his face and then covered him with a blanket and he joined Heero.

"So what happened?" Duo asked.

"I have no idea. He acts like he's terrified of me." Heero said as he tapped on a few more keys.

"Well it should be fine now. He seems to be asleep now and we're all as safe as we can be in our line of work." Duo said as he got a Pepsi out took a sip.

Trowa woke up from the nightmare and realized it was different when he woke this time. He felt more rested. Maybe he had tired himself out so much he had no choice but to sleep? He got up and went to the bathroom, a shower would be a wonderful thing he thought as he turned on the water and stripped off his clothes. His hand brushed against something as he undressed. He looked down in disbelief, there in his navel was a silver ring. He fell to his knees and tried to breathe. He was sure he was awake this time. What was going on? He was almost afraid to check to see if his bottom was scratched but he had to know. He got a hand held mirror out and looked. It was there, then he heard the noise behind him.

"What is real Baby? Can you even tell?" Heero said from the doorway.

"No." Trowa said as he started to weep. "I can't tell anymore." He knelt in front of Heero. "You own me, you said so. What is going on? Please tell me…" Trowa said as he curled up on the floor. Heero just smirked and reached down to touch his prize.

Trowa's eyes opened and he found himself on the bathroom floor. He had no idea if this was real or a dream and he no longer had a way to tell. The shower was running and the bathroom hadn't fogged yet so he wasn't out too long. He got in the shower and then was sure that he was really awake this time. The ring and the scratch were there but he didn't want to accept the implications of what that meant. He ignored them and gently cleansed himself. The hot water felt good on the bruises the interrogation had left and Trowa was not going to delve further into the reasons for the navel ring. He was just going to get on with his life. If the nightmare came back he knew he'd not fight it this time. He had to see the end.


End file.
